About Me

Hello and welcome! My name is Rianna and I live in Gloucester with my mum , my step dad , & my 
brother and our two pets, In The Winter of January 2015, i set up this blog after years of illness and finally receiving my diagnosis of Hemiplegic Migraines. What started as a personal blog - and means to share my own experiences has since grown into a lifestyle and wellness blog where i share tips and information related to living as well as possible with a chronic illness. This is intertwined with stories from my life and posts related to healthy living,

I know what it is like to feel like your health is spiralling out of control. I have experienced the grief of giving up the life I once thought I would lead. I empathise with the challenges you face because I have lived them too. I understand what you are going through and I want to help you to move forwards.

EARLY DAYS 1989 - 2000
In the Summer of 1991 i was taken seriously ill where i caught Viral Encephalitis from a stomach bug that lasted for days and i ended up in intensive care for over 2 months recovering. I nearly lost my life due to the infection because of what it did to my brain and it was a very fighting experience for my family and friends to watch me go though it all at a really young age, The infection caused my brain to swell up so badly that all my basic functions was all destroyed and my speech & walking and was very badly effected. I was lying in a hospital bed in A&E with no life left in me and basically getting worse as time went on! No one knew if i was going to die or survive as the infection was killing me so slowly and no one knew what the outcome would be, I had a Lumbar Puncture in my spine that showed that i was clearly suffering from Encephalitis! My family and friends was beside my bed and hoping that i would pull though and make a full recovery after 48hours, I had a vicar that was beside my bed and read my last rights to me beforehand. The doctor who was treating me gave me some really strong antibiotics (Penicillin) to help cure the infection, In the next couple of weeks in the children's ward in Hospital i made a full recovery from the infection but everything had been destroyed and i would need to learn everything again from being a baby once again.
When i came out of hospital i came home in a wheelchair as i was unable to walk and i would never be a normal child ever again as i would grow up being disabled for the rest of my life with my mum being my full time carer until i was 10, The challenges that i went though it was very difficult for me and would take me months upon months to learn one word and say it correctly. As i was now disabled child my mum would also get some funding and government help for me as i needed equipment every day such as special walking shoes, Nappies (as i had Toilet issues - And these weren't cheap) and a car that helped me to get to appointments every week! As my mum explained to me that there wasn't a lot of help back then for me so she provided the care and support and have done ever since!

It was so hard for me as i had lost all of my basic functions and it was so hard to do anything for myself as i was still learning new tasks and how to complete them, My walking was very badly effected so sometime in 1993 (I can't remember the year) i had to go and have some special walking shoes made to my size (as i have got very wide feet) and they would help me walk and they would be over £500 a pair (I think thats how much they were but i am not to sure) and we had to go to Glastonbury to go and collect them and to see if they were ok as they would take a while to make
I had a few pairs made before i had my last pair when i was about 10 or 11 and they did there job and helped me walk again!
In 1995 i started a special needs school that was for children with special needs and complex disabilities, I spent 5 years at http://themilestoneschool.co.uk until February 1999 when i left to go to full time junior school, As the school is aimed at children with disabilities they offer so much and i cannot thank them for what they did for me when i attended there almost 20 years ago! (Doesn't time fly)  We had a special Hydrotherapy pool that we used every Wednesday for a swimming lessons that was in The Chamwell Centre across the playground, (The Chmwell Centre was a special school that was also for disabled children when i was there) We would go and get changed in the changing room and then we would walk to the pool and walk into some lovely warm water it was lovely! The school also provided special trips and outings that was funded for us by the public! The school has done so much for me and helped me where i am today! I am helping the Chamwell Centre for there brand new Hydrotherapy centre witch the clearly need! My mum also took a cleaning job at the school before i left and we used to have so much stuff when we went home!! I do miss this school so much!!
I am due to go back and visit this year and see how much has changed and also to see about helping out!

In February 1999 i started my junior school Tredworth Junior School after i had a few mainstream placements to see how i would cope with other children and classes, My first day at school was a total disaster as i was only 10 and i crossed the road to get to school and i ended up being run over and i broke my big toe! It was a good start for me. I Settled down pretty well and adapted to the routine of school life really well, I was also having 36 hours per week for a LSW who would come in each class and provide support for me. I didn't spend that long at junior school as i was only there for 3 years and i loved the school and made some good friends while i was there too, At the same time of me starting junior school my dad was also having health issues and finance issues and he was planning to sell up and move on to somewhere new and this was so hard for me as i wouldn't be able to see my dad all the time and it was so hard for me and also what was going on at school also it wasn't easy for a 10 year old to see happen,

Just before i started high school in 2001 my dad decided that he would sell up and move to Mid wales as he had enough and his health was not good and i was completely gutted and upset and i didn't want him to go as it would be impossible to see my dad every week! My dad explained to me that he needed to go as his health was so bad and needed a fresh start and i kinda understood what was happening but i was only 12 at the time. My dad also let me stay with him the night before he moved in the house that i grew up in and that was that, My dad left Gloucester in October 2000 and it would be a few more years until i was able to see him again in his new house in Mid Wales and it was very hard for me.
A year before my dad moved to Wales i started high school  Barnwood Park Arts Collage (AKA Barnwood Park High School for Girls ) and when i started i was placed into year 7 like everybody else and i was a bit gutted that my friends wasn't gonna be in the same class as me as we got on really well with each other, When i was in year 7 i was told that i should be in year 8 because there was so much confusion when i left junior school as i should of left in 2000 not 2001, So when i returned from the weekend on that Monday morning in 2001 i was placed straight into year 8!  I Settled down really well and adapted very well to the class and this is where i would meet my best and very close friend who would go on and support me throughout my school life. In a few months after starting school and moving house Disaster stuck again for me as i was having problems with my vision and really bad headaches.

Between 2002 and 2004 i was having hospital & doctors appointments nearly every day of the week to try and investigate what was causing me to have these huge Migraine attacks and also my vision problems, I missed so much of school that when i was there i was working all day and even pulled out of some lessons to catch up with my LSW in the school library,  It was so much to cope with and when i did attend school i would still have attacks in front of all my friends and even my best friend was worried what had happened to me, I can remember having a few Migraine attacks at school and i also had some medication behind the reception desk just in case, Everyone knew that i was having tests done and knew about my special arrangements! I can remember having about 3 - 6 attacks when i went to school and it was dreadful and i just wanted a answer what was causing them to be so bad! I was finally told that in 2004 that i had a Lazy Eye with my right eye and i would need surgery to correct it and at the time i was 15 and i just didn't want to proceed any further with it and then i had the regular checkups where the hospital where i was given no treatment and finally discharged from the eye Hospital. In 2004 after so many tests and Hospital appointments i was finally told what type of Migraines that i was suffering from witch was Hemiplegic Migraines and i was told all about the condition and then i would be on full time medication to prevent the attacks coming on at 2.30 am and this is the Medication i am still taking to this day!!
In the summer 2005 i was planning to take my exams and it was very hard for me as i had missed so much school that i though to myself that i would fail and there wasn't no point me doing any of my exams at all, I did what i could and i tried to remember what i could on the day of the exams it was no ones fault that i had medical problems and would go on and destroy my school work and life. I sometimes think how did i get though my exams and how did i get the grades what i did get? i knew that i would fail something and i did and that was Maths and i was pleased that i took my exams and proud on what i did achieve.

I left high school in September 2005 and started a full time collage course at Gloucestershire Collage A.K.A Gloscat with my friends from school, I did a course called Young Enterprise where at the beginning of the year we would call ourselves a small business and put  £1 in the shares and what ever we made at the end of the year we had back in cash. We also had sales throughout the year and we made our products to sell at this store from flowers, bird houses , cakes and much much more. As me and my best friend was in the same class we had a LSW with us to support us and others in the class, It was good course and in the middle of course disaster stuck yet again for me as i was feeling very ill and i just didn't wanna know anything and my mind was all over the place and something was  seriously wrong with me, When i finished collage i walked into town and started to get mobile phone contracts and running up debt that i was underage for, and this went on for a while until something was clearly wrong with me. My behaviour started to became unmanageable and my mum couldn't cope with me any longer that she was gonna put me into a Mental hospital as everyone thought that i was mental and needed professional help, As my behaviour was so bad i was arrested for GBH As my step dad reported me to the Police saying that I  stabbed him witch wasn't true! I was put on medication to help me to calm down and my behaviour and my anger and the tablets that i was on just made things worse for me and the doctor suggested that i would need to go and see a Physicist who could tell me what i was suffering with.

The Physicist told me that i was suffering from a Mental breakdown due to my family and my health issues when i was 2 years old and it had all impacted on me all in once and made me very ill, I also told the Physicist that my mind was all over the place and i didn't know what i was doing half of the time and i was totally lost with almost everything! As i was still in collage until 2008 i took each day diffrently and i never told no one what was happening but i did cause a bit of behaviour now and again. The Physicist told me to take things easy and take some time out otherwise i would be in Hospital for a long period of time,
I walked out of collage and i never went back because i couldn't deal with it anymore and wanted to do something else and it was very hard for me when i started to get debit letters though the post from these  companies asking for money, where i clearly wasn't getting hardly anything only £30 per week on EMA. 
When i went home the first time and my mum saw me with a new phone she knew that something wasn't right and she knew that i was under age for a contract phone and she asked me how did you get that contract phone ?  and i told her that i actually lied to the people in the phone shop to get it as i would with everything else that was from catalogs and much more, As my mind was all over the place i wasn't thinking half of the time and something wasn't right with me at all.
I had a year on what i wanted to do and as i wasn't in full time education and employment i just wanted a year out! 

So sometime later on in the year i applied for a collage course in Newtown (Powys) where my dad lives and i ended up getting on the course and was successful and the bad thing was that i had to move in with my dad for over a year with is horrible girlfriend (we didn't get on at all) and when i told him about the plans he was delighted and said that he would be able to look after me and also afford to keep me and get my health back on track, He told me that i could move in straight away and my dad told me that i could have the front bedroom as mine was in the back and i never slept in that room since my dad moved in there. I was delighted to go but my mum was the problem as i would miss her more it was very hard for me to say goodbye when i stepped out of the car with my stuff and it was very upsetting time for me. Few months before i had to go i was packing all of my things and my bedroom looked so dull and empty and it was so upsetting that i had been here since i was 13 and now i am packing my life away into a box and it wasn't the same anymore and it was time for me to move on and get my health back on track, In September 2008 i officially made the move to my dads and it took a day for my mum and step dad to drive me down there with all of my things and there was a lot of stuff to transfer as i had a tonne of clothes CD's and other bits and bobs and it was a nightmare carrying it all in dustbin bags, I can clearly remember getting to my bedroom and i started to cry and asking for my mum while i was putting my stuff away  as i had never lived with my dad until my mum decided to take me away from him when i was 3 and it was very upsetting for me and i just wanted my mum at this point. My dad new that i wasn't clearly well and he said he can only do what he could and he said that i am so happy that you made this move and it will give me time to look after you and get you back on your feet. I had to have a early night as i was so tired due to the travelling and packing up my things and putting them away and then in the morning i had to start my course and i wasn't looking forward to it at all. My dad's girlfriend used to get me up for 7am as i used to catch a coach that was for us and i had to walk around the corner to catch it and my dad's girlfriend walked around with me for the first day and it was so dull and i had no one to talk to and i wanted to talk to someone. The first day was a total blur and i hated it and i knew from the start of this course that the tutor was gonna be a nightmare and in the end i was so right and she caused so many issues for me while i was on the course, We had to carry a ID Card with us all time and to provide it for the library etc! I first met some people on the second day on the bus and that was Laura and Mel and they were very friendly and very supported people and we loved to chat to each other on the way to collage in the mornings and evenings,

As Mel used to live around the corner it was so good that i had a friend that i had made on the bus that i could go and visit, I also met Carina & Charlotte on the second day in the canteen and they have been there since day one and they provided me with a lot of help and advice while i was there. Sadly that Carina and Charlotte was in the same class so i could only see them at break times and hit was so nice that i also made friends with the class too. The staff was very rude towards me and clearly didn't understand my special needs and also i was disabled, They didn't provide me with any support and at this point of time i was suffering with very mild depression and anxiety and they didn't really bother with me when i told them. My behaviour did lash out sometimes and i went mad as i just basically lost it and i couldn't cope as i was missing my mum and i wanted to leave and the tutor shouted at me for being naughty at one time and i was being abusive towards them and asking where my help was. My friends told me to calm down and sit down we will help you, I then in the end walked out and nearly smashed the door off as i was in a very bad mood and then i was taken to see the headmaster of the collage to explain why this happened. I still didn't have no help while i was there and all of my friends helped me in the class and they done this every lesson we had because they couldn't be asked to provide my special needs LSW. I made trips down to see my mum every Christmas and it was very hard for me to visit as i didn't live there anymore and coming back to visit was very hard and strange for me as i saw my old bedroom and it was completely different and i just wanted to come back straightaway!

My dad did look after me very well and done what he did for me as my dad was also working at time and he would come in and see me every 2 hours or so. There was moments where i did try and take my life as i had enough and i wanted to be free and where no one could hurt me anymore. The thing is that i never told my dad that the tutor was bullying me and being rude to me ever since i started the course and the reason why i wanted to try and take my life was because of the tutor as i had enough of her and of course my health issues too. I wasn't eating that well and i lost 6 stones in a matter of a few weeks and i was only eating junk food and living off Pizzas chips chips and my energy was really bad and i had to drink lucozade for a year to help me on my feet again

In March 2009 i moved back in with my mum & step dad as my dad wanted me to pay half towards his council tax and my dad's girlfriend went behind my back and told the council my business and i saw the letter and it was addressed to me, I wasn't happy and when i rang my mum up my dad and his ex girlfriend listened to the call and told me to get out straight away! And i was like what have i done? My dad clearly wanted me to pay his council tax so he could have more money for drink and when i wouldn't pay he kicked me out for good. The next day i packed up my things and we didn't speak to each other and my dad's ex looked in my bags and my personal information and then she drove me to the supermarket carpark where she had dumped all of my belongs on the road and then drove off, My mum shouted at her and told her that she was nothing but a C**w and a F*****g bitch and told me to get in the car. Me and my dad didn't speak for 2 years after this had happened. When i arrived home my bedroom was a complete mess and my mum said that you cannot sleep in there tonight and when i saw it i was in shock it was painted bright red and it was like a dump room with all sorts in it, My mum thought that i wasn't coming home for good but i explained to my mum that it was my dad's fault not mine I wanted my room back as soon as i could! Everything took so long! 

BANKRUPTCY  2010 - 2016
In March 2009 my dad decided that he wanted to kick me out for some reason and he didn't wanna take care of me anymore and told me to leave, I was now i was over my Breakdown and i was really missing my mum so much that i decided to move back in with my mum & step dad and decided that i just wanted a year out and concentrate on my debits and get my life back on track, I just wanted to get things sorted out as soon as i could as i was also seeking professional help from my local Connections adviser about the debit that i had wrapped around me and it wasn't going away at all, I had a tonne of debit letters and they were coming nearly every single day of the week and it was amounting up every single day and it was making me so unwell that i wanted to take my own life as i couldn't cope with it any more and i just wanted someone to help me with this mess as i had no one professional to help me, I was seeing my adviser every week in Connections and i was asked to keep the debit letters by my adviser to show what companies that i owed money too and how much it was! My adviser told me that there was only one way that we could get this sorted and i asked what was that i asked ? And they told me that i would have to declare myself insolvent as i asked what was it and how it works and what do i need to do to get things sorted and they explained it all to me on the same day of me being with my adviser for almost 1 hour. I had to attend appointments at the CAB to start the process as there was a lot of paperwork involved and they also told me the T&C's all about insolvency and what the laws were and it was a lot to take in for a 20 year old, So on the 9th September 2010 at just 20 years old i went insolvent for £15,000  Once the application was made i wasn't allowed to apply for any credit and it would also take a year for my application to go to court to get finalised and then it would be a very long wait before i could restate my credit and to improve it once again, Within that 6 years i wasn't able to get anything on credit and finance because of my Insolvency on my profile and it was very hard as i wanted a phone and i couldn't have it  It was very hard for me to even get a mobile phone and my mum did help me out with a phone for a while and then i would get my own when i was able too,
After 6 years long wait on September 9th 2016 i was Insolvent free and i would need to rebuild my credit score and profile once again!! After insolvency i had felt so proud that went though the process and i felt so proud on what i achieved, My dad said to me that it was a good thing for me to do and i know it was a very hard and long process for me to go though but i am so happy and glad that i did it and it had taught me a lot about credit and finances,

As i was no debit free that i wanted to wait a while before i wanted to apply for credit again and my deadline was November 2016, As i was in need of a phone so badly that i had to see what companies would accept me as i still had bad credit and when i was going though my insolvency no phone companies would accept me and Tesco mobile was the only provider that would let me have a sim only deal as the others would decline me straight away, A few days later i applied for a sim only from o2 as it was a good network and i was accepted and i was so shocked because i had only been debit free for a few weeks and it was all good news, In January 2017 i was able to upgrade my full sim only on o2 for a full contract with the new iPhone 7 plus and o2 has been very good and supportive to me ever since taking out my first full contract with them. On the 27th October 2016 i applied for my very first credit card and i was rejected first time around and the second time i tried i was accepted i was so happy that i was able to get a credit card to help with my credit but then i fell into difficulties with the card and ended up cutting it up and going though the next steps about my account with Vanquis bank who issued the card for me. In July 2017 i was also able to get a Vodaphone Smart Tab N8 for under £16 per month witch is a really good deal as my credit isn't great at all.
I am so happy that i did what i did and i have also learnt a lot about finances and money while i have been though this and it has taught me a huge lesson about money, I do also find it very hard on how to budget and save for things on a regular basics but i am trying my hardest to overcome leaving money in the bank as i have had a issue with this for years, I do know that my credit score is improving and i just need to take things out that is under £10 per month to get things going because if i don't get anything on credit my score will not improve as i need to continue to pay for goods on direct debit to prove to companies that i am paying on time for my items, I am not gonna be taking out any more finance and credit for anything unless i have to and i am also gonna focus on paying back my other debits witch i have ran up myself over the years.

I have been though so much since 1992 and i can say it has been very difficult time for me in my early days of childhood and growing up into adulthood with a disability, The Viral Encephalitis had caused me to have a little bit of Brain damage in the process and it also caused me to have physical and mental disabilities and also illnesses with no possible cure. I was so lucky that my mum found me when she did on that day in 1991 and got me to Hospital when she did as i was in a serious way and i almost died from the infection. If my mum didn't act when she did and got me to Hospital in time i would of been dead and i don't think that my mum wanted to see her only daughter die in front of her own eyes, I am a very lucky person to be a survivor from Encephalitis and my mum has been supporting me ever since and providing the support that i have needed ever since.
Since leaving Hospital after a few weeks after the infection i was a completely changed person as i was now classed as Disabled child and to be and to be quite honest with you i have never left Hospital after 20 or more years i am still going for appointments and tests to this day, It has been extremely hard for me over the years and sometimes i think to myself how do i manage with everything and sometimes i don't and this is why i have depression because i have so much going on that it upsets me and then i cannot cope as its just way to much to handle sometimes,

At the moment things are getting kinda better and kinda tuff for me as there has been so much going on and as end of the year is fast approaching i really don't know whats around the corner for me, My health at the moment isn't really good for me as i have been having more episodes of anxiety and Depression more then ever and living next door to our abusive neighbours doesn't help me in any kinda way, I have been trying to get my own place since last year so i can be on my own and learn to do things by myself and hopefully get some more bedroom space and be more happier, I have been bidding on flats and houses since last year and none of them have been successful and the council is refusing to give me anything and they would much rather give a place to people that treats them like dirt and abuses them and it does upset me quite a lot, As i have mental health issues i am able to request a full medical report from my GP to send to the council explaining why i need to be rehoused due to issues with the family and the neighbours. As i live on my own i am able to claim all the necessary allowances for myself on top on what i receive now.  As i have been so busy that i haven't had the time to sit down and write the letter to request my full medical report. It just makes me so angry that people is able to get flats and houses and money that they are not entitled to and theres me who has been disabled all my life and i have to keep fighting what i deserve,

As Christmas is just around the corner i do have something to look forward to and thats i am having a driving assessment done in October to see if i am able to drive a automatic car and to see what kinda support and adaptions that i might need for me to drive, As this isn't funded by Mobility i have to pay the fee myself though my own back pocket because i don't get the amount of allowance to help me to get help from them to get a car and free driving lessons and this has upset me quite a lot because i cannot get no help from the government.  i am also appealing towards my PIP claim as i believe that the person who done my assessment didn't clearly understood that i had been effected by Encephalitis and half of the conditions and illnesses are from my brain and the infection itself. They had lied on the report and when i saw the points that i was awarded i wasn't happy at all, I am hoping that this appeal is a huge success as i don't wanna end up taking this to court but as things go i might end up doing that just to tell them that i have more wrong with me then you think! I am still waiting on the decision outcome fingers crossed.


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